Give yourself time to process
A diagnosis — even when it’s been expected, even when it’s a relief — can bring up emotions you didn’t anticipate. Grief is a normal response, even when you love your child fiercely and even when you understand that autism is a different way of being, not a tragedy. You don’t have to feel positive about the diagnosis immediately.
Be kind to yourself. You don’t need to have a plan within the first week. You don’t need to read every book or join every Facebook group. Take the time you need.
“The diagnosis doesn’t change who your child is. It gives you a better map for understanding them.”
Understanding what the diagnosis means
A diagnosis — even when it’s been expected, even when it’s a relief — can bring up emotions you didn’t anticipate. Grief is a normal response, even when you love your child fiercely and even when you understand that autism is a different way of being, not a tragedy. You don’t have to feel positive about the diagnosis immediately.
Be kind to yourself. You don’t need to have a plan within the first week. You don’t need to read every book or join every Facebook group. Take the time you need.
A note on language
Some autistic people prefer ‘autistic person’ (identity-first language). Others prefer ‘person with autism’ (person-first language). Follow your child’s lead as they grow. Both are valid.
Should you tell your child?
This is one of the most common questions families ask us, and there is no single right answer. Research and clinical experience consistently suggest that children who understand their diagnosis tend to have better self-esteem and mental health outcomes than those who don’t — because self-understanding builds self-compassion.
The ‘right time’ depends on your child’s age, understanding and circumstances. Many families find a simple, positive framing works well for younger children: ‘Your brain works in a brilliant and different way. That’s called autism.’ As children grow, their understanding of what autism means for them will deepen naturally.
Books that help
There are several excellent books written for autistic children to help them understand their diagnosis, including ‘The Reason I Jump’ by Naoki Higashida, ‘My Friend with Autism’ for younger children, and ‘The Autism Acceptance Book’ by Ellen Sabin.
Telling school
You are not legally required to tell your child’s school about a diagnosis — but in most cases, sharing it will benefit your child. Schools have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils (autism is covered by the Equality Act 2010), and a diagnosis gives the school a framework for understanding and supporting your child. Request a meeting with the SENCo. Bring a copy of the diagnostic report. Discuss what reasonable adjustments might look like — and follow up in writing. If school isn’t responding adequately, an EHCP may be the next step.
Accessing support
After a diagnosis, families are often left to find their own way to support services. This is one of the most frustrating parts of the process — and it shouldn’t be this way. Here’s what to consider:
- Speech and Language Therapy: Many autistic children have speech, language and communication needs that benefit from specialist SLT. Private therapy can begin immediately; NHS SLT may be available via referral.
- Occupational therapy: If your child has significant sensory processing or daily living difficulties, OT assessment is worth pursuing.
- Sensory integration therapy: For children whose sensory processing differences significantly affect their daily life, specialist SI therapy can make a transformative difference.
- Parent support: The National Autistic Society (autism.org.uk) and Autism&Ment offer parent support and resources. Local parent groups can also be invaluable.
- EHCP: If your child needs more support than school can provide from its existing resources, consider applying for an EHC needs assessment.
What Speech Stuff can offer after diagnosis
If you’ve received a diagnosis from Speech Stuff or elsewhere, we can help with the next steps. Our post-diagnosis support includes:
Speech and Language Therapy tailored to your child’s specific communication profile — beginning immediately after assessment if needed
Sensory integration therapy for children with significant sensory processing differences
EHCP-ready reports and school liaison to help secure the right support in education
Parent coaching sessions to help you understand your child’s communication style and how to support it at home
Guidance on next steps, resources and referrals to other services where appropriate
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Book a free call with us — even if your child’s assessment was done elsewhere. We’re happy to talk through next steps and point you in the right direction, whether or not Speech Stuff is the right service for your family.